One of the benefits of Peace Corps service (despite the multitude of obvious: helping others, personal challenges, new friendships, total immersion, etc.) is the time I have available for reflection. In the states, we often busy ourselves with our day-to-day tasks with precious few moments for ourselves. A spare moment in America, perhaps on our commute from one event to the next, is frequently spent in "check-list" mode. Attempting to reassure ourselves our never ending to-do list is getting done. My experience in Azerbaijan has been much different.
I walk everywhere, to complete errands, to go to work, to visit friends; these moments are mine. I set my own schedule, allowing me to have as much (or as little) time to myself. The Peace Corps experience is very much conducive to an environment of self-inflection. I have spent the last year having gained some moments of quiet reflection, moments that are just for me. It has allowed me to look back on (or forward to) various poor or advantageous experiences. I think it's helped me in identifying relationships which have been beneficial or toxic. To examine the friend, familial and romantic relationships which have been meaningful and those which I should have avoided; to examine what led me to those choices.
Something I learned a long time ago, but occasionally forget, is that I don't have to like everyone and I don't have to be friends with everyone. I should be kind to everyone (despite the difficulty this sometimes presents), but the people I allow into my life should be those who challenge me to be a better person and should give as much as they take. I think, despite my outspokenness in certain areas of my life , I can still be a bit of a push-over when I fall in love. I don't quite know how to modify that.
The time I have here allows me to look at things in a quiet and thoughtful way. I'm not making hasty decisions in an attempt to mentally pack it away or compartmentalize it. It's one of the best things about my service.
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